Tales of a maladjusted adult pt 3

I forget what it feels like to have a mind that doesn’t betray me, a mind where up is up and down is down. I want to be able to control all these thoughts but they have grown wings. They are them and I am me. What did I expect though? I fed them, nurtured them, pruned and shaped them. How could they not want to be free, to wander, to grow, simply BE. They are king now and their word is law. I am only a vessel. I think therefore I am? No – I am and now my thought too, are. They run, jump, explode – a multitude of tiny bombs, one setting off its neighbour unleashing a kaleidoscopic mosaic of memories, dreams and visions all intertwined by some thread I can’t seem to find.

How can I not love these thoughts though? How can I not indulge in their LIFE? It is not without sacrifice. I must first give in to them, only then can I even begin to try to reign them in. But what is flesh against the forces of a great wind? How can I begin to control them when I am only starting to grasp their power?

2 thoughts on “Tales of a maladjusted adult pt 3

  1. Is it really necessary to master the thoughts in your head that you don’t want there? Why not choose to replace them with thoughts you actively put into your mind? Learn what the unwanted thoughts have to teach you, and then ignore them- why be a slave to your thoughts?

    Of course, always easier said than done 😉


    • I second that final statement 🙂 The thoughts aren’t unwanted per say – they just go all over the place, contradict themselves at times and go off on random tangents (fun times) I don’t mind it too much most times because they lead me in interesting directions but sometimes I’d like to sleep easier haha


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